WinXP
The box said "Requires Windows 95 or better." I can't understand why it won't work on my Linux computer.
Fatal Error: Found MS-Windows System -> Repartitioning Disk for Linux...
Linux: Because rebooting is for adding new hardware
Computers are like air conditioners -- they stop working properly if you open WINDOWS
My computer, my documents, my briefcase, my ASS!
National Weather Service advice for those threatened by severe thunderstorms:
"Go inside a sturdy building and stay away from WINDOWS!" (Submitted by Ben Bullock)
Microsoft should switch to the vacuum cleaner business where people actually want products that suck.
Linux: transforms your microcomputer in a workstation.
Windows NT: transforms your workstation in a microcomputer.
Peace, Love and Compile the kernel....
I took the Pepsi challenge and chose Linux.
There's the light at the end of the the Windows.
People use dummies for crash-tests. Windows is so difficult they had to educate the dummies first --
by giving them "Windows for Dummies" books!
Your mouse has moved. Windows NT must be restarted for the change to take effect. Reboot now? [ OK ]
Linux - It is now safe to turn on your computer.
Windows NT source code now available... download WIN2000.BAS now!
I'm not a programmer, but I play one at Microsoft.
Windows 2000 is more secure than Linux...
Since the machine is offline half of the time because of crashes, it cannot be accessed globally, therefore producing higher security.
The best Windows accelerator is that which works at 9.81m/s2
The next hot technology from Microsoft will be object-oriented assembly.
Windows NT encountered the following error: The operation completed successfully.
With Windows Millennium, Microsoft was able to get the boot time down to 25 seconds. That's almost as short as it's uptime.
Windows 98 hasn't crashed for me once in over a year, either. Oh, wait, I haven't booted it in over a year.
Linux: Because rebooting is for adding new hardware
Computers are like air conditioners -- they stop working properly if you open WINDOWS
My computer, my documents, my briefcase, my ASS!
National Weather Service advice for those threatened by severe thunderstorms:
"Go inside a sturdy building and stay away from WINDOWS!" (Submitted by Ben Bullock)
Microsoft should switch to the vacuum cleaner business where people actually want products that suck.
Linux: transforms your microcomputer in a workstation.
Windows NT: transforms your workstation in a microcomputer.
Peace, Love and Compile the kernel....
I took the Pepsi challenge and chose Linux.
There's the light at the end of the the Windows.
People use dummies for crash-tests. Windows is so difficult they had to educate the dummies first --
by giving them "Windows for Dummies" books!
Your mouse has moved. Windows NT must be restarted for the change to take effect. Reboot now? [ OK ]
Linux - It is now safe to turn on your computer.
Windows NT source code now available... download WIN2000.BAS now!
I'm not a programmer, but I play one at Microsoft.
Windows 2000 is more secure than Linux...
Since the machine is offline half of the time because of crashes, it cannot be accessed globally, therefore producing higher security.
The best Windows accelerator is that which works at 9.81m/s2
The next hot technology from Microsoft will be object-oriented assembly.
Windows NT encountered the following error: The operation completed successfully.
With Windows Millennium, Microsoft was able to get the boot time down to 25 seconds. That's almost as short as it's uptime.
Windows 98 hasn't crashed for me once in over a year, either. Oh, wait, I haven't booted it in over a year.
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oyuriyu
Last month, our Vast Spy Network(tm) reported that Microsoft had replaced the bluescreen in XP with the "Crash Wizard". Earlier today, the VSN snatched the latest build, only to discover that the Crash Wizard and Blue Screen of Death had both been completely eliminated.No, Microsoft didn't copy the Linux or *BSD kernel... they just replaced the BSOD with the TASOD(tm or the Themable, Animated Screen of Death(tm).
By default, when Windows XP crashes, it shows an animation demonstrating how to reboot the computer. "First," says the cartoon character of Bill Gates, "pull the power cord from the socket. Next, place the plug back in the socket. If you have difficulty locating your power outlet, please contact your system administrator at extension 6838."
Windows XP comes bundled with CRAP(tm the Central Repository of Animated Plug-ins, which includes over 1.5 gigabytes of animations that can be shown when a fatal exception occurs.
One theme shows the Paperclip dancing around the screen while saying, "Hello, valued Windows XP user! I hope you are enjoying the Windows XP experience brought to you by Microsoft, the leader in software innovation. I regret to inform you that one of your software applications has crashed. Of course, this problem was caused by a non-Microsoft program, because Windows XP and all bundled applications have been certified Bug-Free(tm). Unfortunately, all of your data has been lost and you will need to reboot your machine. Also, while rebooting, please ignore the message which accuses you of being an total idiot for not properly shutting down Windows. Thank you for using Windows XP and have a nice reboot!"
Another animated theme targeted at the "corporate environment" features the "Dancing Filing Cabinet" saying, "Your computer has crashed and will need to be rebooted. At this time let me remind you that destroying your computer in a fit of rage is against company policy and can result in termination. Please follow along as I demonstrate how to use your telephone to contact your system administrator at extension 6383."
According to a leaked marketing kit, the "6383" telephone extension is a new "open standard" that will be promoted by Microsoft as an attempt to show that the company "plays well with others". (If your company violates this new standard because its phone system only supports three digit extensions, you may request a change for the "trivial processing fee" of just $1.3 million.)
Windows XP also supports themes created by users. In light of this new feature, several stock analysts have given a "strong buy" recommendation to themes.org. "Most Windows users don't care about windows.themes.org because the Windows program they use most -- the bluescreen -- is not themable," droned one stock expert. "But with Windows XP, that will change, providing a valuable opportunity for themes.org to boost traffic and banner impressions by several orders of magnitude. This is a great time to buy!"